ain't no motive for this crime

It is 10:14 and I miss you.

I wonder if you care or if

it just carelessly rolled off

your shoulder and you barely

blinked or if you actually

cared

I wonder if you are sleeping

or texting on talking to someone.

It is 10:18 and I still miss you.

I dont really know what I want

as of now but I really know I dont

want this.Today has been a crappy day.

Today was the first day of the first time

I ever got a job.It was pretty fly.Thanks

Aly for showing me the ropes.

It's still 10:18.

Now.

I am thinking about you.

You are childish,immature,self centered,

you are a total bitch and you deserve to

go to hell.You say you shouldnt take anything

for granted but a day or two later you eat your

words up and you take more or less everything

you have been blessed with  for granted.

10:21

What the **** happened to us

What the **** came between us

What the **** must I do to get it all back

What the **** happened to all of us

What the **** could we have done to deserve this

What the ****,******,What the ****?!

10:23

It was good seeing you today.

It was enough.

If I didnt see you today,

I would've said that today

is the worst day of my week.

You made it better.

You always make it better.

10:25

You dont know anything.

You dont know how,you dont know

when to talk,when to shut the hell up,

when to comfort,when to reassure,when

to yell,when to mollycoddle,you dont know

anything.But it's OK.I still love you.I just

dont show it.In fact it's OK that you make

mistakes.Just...make better mistakes in future.

I want your love(and your revenge)

Surprise is a funny thing because it always

shows up at the most unexpected places

at the most unexpected

times with the most unexpected people.

Surprise is

(going home finding a puppy sitting on your bed

your ex smiling at you in the hallways

the food in your cafe being mysteriously served

your bestest saying the most ouch thing

falling for the most unexpected person)

Anticipation should be mandatory in life!

Anticipate the wind that is howling your way

and hold your dress!

Anticipate the touch and hands out and quick dump!

Anticipate the cracking egg and hurry!Shove a

bowl under the egg.

Anticipate the blow zeroing in on your face.

Hurry!Duck!

Surprise is funny.

Almost like fate but maybe a little less cruel.

It's surprising that this year it didnt turn out as amazing

as I'd been anticipating it to be...a bad week,a good week,

a terrible week,an amazing week should add up to a pretty

kick ass year but in 28 days this year will be over and

I have a feeling that it's not going to end that great.

And I remember the week before camp was shit,

with speech night being a blur and it didnt feel like

it was the last day of school.And science fair and 'my

group was...OK let's not go there!

Ended up camwhoring with camwhores.

I wanna upload some but I think my Mom or Dad

whichever reads my blog so next time.

Aha I love this photo the german and pinoy look so kute.

Camp was OK,

and hopefully the coming week will be somewhat fly

since my Mom's off to some trip and my Dad comes

home at 3 in the morning nowadays...It's kind of sad

actually.We rarely see each other.But then again

I get the house to myself with my sister off to Cambodia

but then again I promised to catch up with school work...

So no staying out till late as much as I can.

And I want no NEED to play touch!

I am putting on alot of weight

this holiday and christmas with all the dinners will not

do me any good at all.I dont even have to stand on a

scale,I can tell by wearing this pair of shorts from H&M

that serve as my packable trusty scale.Lose and two folds

=weight loss.Just hangs off waist and one fold normal...and

you get the idea when I say I'm gaining pounds!Time to eat healthy

although nearly impossible this festive season.

Off to sleep I am going to stay home the whole of tmrw.

And if I go out,I promised Ng to watch 100 Chelsea matches

with him and I am sure as hell not gonna do that.

Enjoy your weekend!

'cause if you're not really here then the stars don't even matter

Tried blogging but my words are not

forming in proper sentences

Tried doing dear yous but there are

too many people I need to say something to

and I really dont know who to start from

or if I should even voice out

Tried doing the remaining sudoku puzzles

got a headache

Tried playing cafe world but the roast's

still coking

Shall do a  note instead

havent done one in ages!

What is your current mood?
Tired and somewhat bored

Are there things in your life that you'll never be able to get over?
Always

Is there that one guy/girl that you'll always have feelings for no matter what?
Hopefully

Is there someone who loves to cause drama in your life?
I dont think they love to but they do yeah

Got into major trouble in school?
Not really

It sucks being let down, doesn't it?
No shit

Do looks matter the most to you?
Well frankly they do it's your first impression

Did anyone inflict any physical pain on you in the past week ?
Yeah killer touches today!

Your ex REALLY needs you at 3 am and you have a way to their house. Do you go?
I guess...but 3 am?!

Think back to the last person you dated, how many times have you cried over them?
No last.

What was the last test you had on?
Geography

Are you good at creating graphs in math?
Decent!Can actually construct one

Oreo milkshakes or orange juice?
Orange juice

Have you ever had a lemonade stand?
Yeah lemonade tycoon!

Do you hate it when people read over your shoulders?
Only if your a stranger

Would you electrocute yourself as part of a dare?
No way!Unless the people the people your playing with are complete assholes then maybe.

Do you smile politely when someone comments that you’ve put on weight?
If your an adult I guess if your my age I'll come back with a...comeback

What do you plan to do with yourself as far as future education goes?
Study hard study smart

Are you afraid to stay in a hospital overnight all by yourself? Why?
Did it before.It's not as bad as it seems but it gets boring.

Do you even care about world peace?
Somewhat.I mean yeah good if we have world peace but we dont humans dont always see eye to eye

Who was the last person to turn you on?
Why dont you ask EC?

Without stating names say something to three people:
1 I realised that I am actually very very broke...dollar installments starting Monday!
2 I mai Ivy will hate it when you leave
3 You are a bitch,your life is in ruins but I hope you are happy.

Do you currently have a hickey?
Nope

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
Autumn or fall

Is there a boy that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
Mostly everything yeah

What's one thing you want more than anything in your life?
Freedom and a never ending supply of happiness and for people to stay

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
J 18

What’s the best feeling in the world?
To love and be loved in return

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
Of course!

Can you play guitar hero?
Yeah not that great though

When's the next time you will kiss somebody?
Not sure

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
Nope I dont even know what it's for actually

Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
Yup!Can you?

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand?
No why would you want to do that?!Just hold their (clammy) hand

Do you want any tattoos? If so, where?
Nape or arm

Does the thought of marriage scare you?
A little...that's a whole lot of commitment and KIDS!Nightmare

Do you get the recomended eight hours of sleep a night?
Seldom

Would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced?
Tongue

Did you ever think that running away would solve your problems?
Sometimes.But I dont think it'll make me feel any better

Can you handle a lot of drama?
Sometimes.

Can you count to 100 in another language?
Cantonese and Chinese

Have you ever donated clothes?
Yeah

What's the shortest length you've ever cut your hair?
Barely below ears when I was in pri. school it was revolting

Do you always turn the light off when you leave a room?
Not always

Are you pregnant?
Nope

Are you one to be brutally honest?
Well alot of people call me straight forward but brutally honest IDK you tell me

Have you ever used your bra to hold things like you would a pocket?
Nope

Have you ever dated someone more than three years older than you?
Nope

Do you think you're life will change dramatically before 2010?
Not sure

Peaches or Mangoes?
Peaches I dont like mangoes

Do you prefer writing on lined or plain paper?
Depends

Does your fathers name begin with C, A, or R?
Nope.In between A and C

Ever kissed someone with brown eyes and brown hair?
Nope

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pyjama pants?
Shorts

Do you know what high school your father went to?
Some school in Hong Kong

What were you doing at 12 o'clock last night?
Sleeping,reading,texting.It's standard

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?
Nope.Wait actually yes it was kind of  gross.

Would you rather your partner have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
Smile

Yellow fingernail polish: yes or no?
No

Do you call it sitting "criss-cross" or " Indian-style"?
Cross-legged.

Would you consider yourself to be a good cook?
Average.Can play cooking mama at least

Is your mind cluttered?
Always

Have you ever made a guy cry?
Doubt so

Can you cry now?
Nah

Ever done anything illegal in a vehicle?
Nope

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Banana Ice Cream!Island creamery yum yum

Do you look at the keyboard when you type?
Sometimes

Do you think you'll find someone to marry you?
Hopefully

Do you think you will be living at home with your parents in 2 years?
I guess...

but don't pretend you ever forgot about me

One of the hardest choices or decisions you

will ever make is always between what you know

and what you feel.You know she'll never change.

It's a fact embedded in your mind,something

you simply cannot correct.But you feel that you have

to give her yet another chance just because.

Touch match yesterday was good.

It is the

.bus ride to SAS where you bond with your fellow team mates

steady pulse of your heart that pounds through your system when

you start running at full speed

.dip in your heart when you drop the ball that was so catchable

.dissapointment you feel when you have been daydreaming and

your opponents score when you just KNOW you could have

defended that try if you had been more alert

.thrill and the excitement that saunters through your veins when

you see your team mate race across half a field to score a try

.fulfillment when you get some chocolate or some kind of sugar

when you are famished

.playing Slamwich in the middle of a canteen with the most

enthu people you can ever find on our planet

.the reassurance that soothes you as you get back and

know that you are on side and you are ready to pounce

on the oncoming attackers

.making gay promises to each other on field while

waiting for the honk

.lime green boots watching and sussing out men with EC

.standing in a freezing tub of icy cold water while your coach counts

down 30 seconds and you feel like your toes dont belong to you anymore

and you are going to die of hyperthermia but you feel so damn good

when you get out

.the undeniable contentment of winning the bloody

PLATE FINALS and you see happy,cheerful faces all around

when you barely expected to go to the semi finals.

That make getting up at 6-frikking-30 in the morning

all worthwhile.I am so proud of my team of 8...this means

we played touch for like...8 hours with 2 subs!

Good job AC.

Headed for Marie's party after that and managed to catch

up with Ng for a little while before he left.Am glad that

Marie likes her kangaroo and finger puppets!

My weekend was ok but I can still feel the sting of

doing so so badly everytime I am having fun.

It's time to buck up...however hard,even if it kills me.

when the roof caved in and the truth came out(I just didnt know what to do)

Dont wanna talk about exam results...

I am so annoyed with myself!

I think to a certain extent you can say

I actually deserve to fail because everyone

knows that last minute mugging doesnt work for

everyone...and especially not me

And I would rather get average grades for everything

as opposed to nearly top in class in some and rock

bottom in others...argh inconsistency kills big time.

I just hope I dont get retained although everyone says

I should be safe...Should be is not enough!!!

Sometimes I really have to take my hat

off and bow down to my Father.After a

exhausting day at work he has to come home

and face 3 crazy women arguing over the stupidest

things ever...sometimes I think my Dad's superman,

how he always always keeps his cool unless you do

something that really pisses him off.Sometimes

I really dont know how the hell he manages to keep

calm and level headed with 3 pms-ing females within a

3 meter diameter of him.I guess that's

one of my favourite traits about him.

Oh I like the new ice cream parlor next to DaPaolo,

the waffles are yum and the lemon fizz that I shared

with Bella was really good!Headed to Ikea after that.

The bus ride there triggered old memories once again,

truth or dare on the way there with C's iPhone.

Wow it's been a long time since I've been to that place.

Remember the infamous meatballs and those dollar each

hotdogs?And the little kids running around and those

newlyweds checking out furniture?And the free pencils?

(was tempted to steal pencils like Zac)

Sometimes it's good to go back to a place just for the sake of

old times and just to feel those all too familiar washes of nostalgia.

Bumped into Robyn who turned the jolted me back to the reality

that I didnt do that awesome for Chinese.Played the game that

Paul and Kaykay did on Chick VS Dick,was really fun.Am

going to have a showdown with -_- soon to see who owns who!

Gonna get back Geog and RS tmrw...I dont know what to expect

and I am not taking chances by guessing!